Spending Time

So I wanted to try something a little bit different today. . . something a little more creative. . . I call this: My day:

It all started with. . .
Hmmm. . . not quite it.

That should have looked like eggs on toast, covered in yummy country crock. So. . .


Blue his house, with the blue little window and a blue corvette and everything was blue for him . . . Hmmm, a strange start to a day indeed!


Good morning, Denise! This morning we talked about the big moves I mentioned earlier. She was frighteningly excited that Matt might move to Germany. . . intense! But, she had to leave for class, and I wasn't in much of a rush today (very sleepy, terrible nightmares!) so I did my favorite thing to do. . .


stalk you on facebook! Hooray, someone finally posted new pictures of your travels! Although I think reality is starting to hit in that this is not the healthiest of ways to spend time. Perhaps once a day :P. I won't count the number of times I get bored at work and find myself hoping something new was posted. But anyway. . .


Happily at work! Sounds like we're staying in our office, and not moving to SF. Everyone but one of the bosses is bummed. I need a change already! The east bay. . . it's just not enough without someone to enjoy it quietly with!


I work with diligence until this time. . . wanted to keep track of how long things were taking/going, and how often it clicked in my head it was a good time to take a picture!


hard at work.


yeah. . . still working. . .


4 photos in 45ish minutes. . . this guy needs to be kept busier. . .


But really, do I want to work? I had to work at co-workers desk, because I didn't have the right programs. Tomorrow, I will have to, again. I think i'm getting hungry!


Mmmmmm! Mini pizzas for lunch. . .


make for a happy moonworm. . .


and this. . .


makes for a teary-eyed, overjoyed moonworm! With new energy and a lightened spirit, I go back to work, highly perked on life and a little bit of coffee. Towards the end of the day, I stated getting sleepy.




Yup! Definitely time to go home! I've been staring at this crap all day:


I thought a lot about what I was doing, and how I felt about it. Something just seems. . . missing. That feeling you get when you're doing something meaningful, like helping someone, or talking, or working together. . . none of that today. Just . . . work. Bleeehhhh!

So I go home:


I've moved out of the apartment, and into a lime.


mmmmm. . . sweet tea vodka! The store didn't have regular, so I had to settle for peach. . . nummy either way :)


I had a zit today. Thought you'd appreciate it, although it wasn't popable. (poppable? pop-able? i dunno how to spell it) Under my right eye.


and to spend time another way, I started painting again. Preliminary shot, not sure where it's going. I don't totally believe in what I'm doing, but I'm working on finding the passion!


I feel pretty good about it, though. Matt and denise both like it thus far. Don't let me mess it up!


Ahhh, the day ended (well, mostly) after dinner. Matt on the left, Alston in the middle, and some guy on the right. Steve was over, too, but was out of the frame. Alston entertained us by giving us a recollection of his trip to Las Vegas this past weekend. I still don't feel like "one of the guys". If it's just me and one other . . . gets kinda quiet and awkward. . . but with four of us, we laughed for a good hour or two. The sweet tea vodka helped :)

And now, it's a ridiculous hour: 1:15 AM. It's only fitting that I think this is about the time it was there when you got a headache and headed off. Strangely, my head is aching . . . hopefully that means yours has cleared up this morning! Hopefully Eric is feeling better! Hopefully Jenni is giving you good energy! Hopefully I'll catch you tomorrow! _endline_

Love,
Luke

Procrastinating

In the humble spirit of the great procrastinator and avoiding what comes in two weeks, I dedicate today to the end of my formal education. By formal, I mean that one where I never really understood what we were trying to get at. What were we on to? There was talk about social organizations, political, economic, and ecologic leveraging. Leveraging is a funny word. To balance or make a shift as a result of moving something; that something being a formal relationship (how do we describe these "things"?) or a political ideal. Oh Mr. Britt Eversole, what the hell were you pushing us towards?

In any case, there are two weeks remaining before that wonderful celebration we title "Final Review" strikes. Final indeed, but review? I do hope I pass this semester (I think it's guaranteed) although I don't think i've accomplished more than a fraction of what is required. Competition studio? Hope this summer results in more interesting work that my formal education has.

Cheers.

Frustration: What I feel for the majority of each day. Frustration that I lack the language, the concept, idea, thoughts outside of "I am frustrated." I assume it's a character flaw, a mental block or lacking that I have; it is beyond the limits of others' perception and understanding. How do I deal with it? Not enough time now. Never enough time.

Not enough words, not enough concentration or focus. Just a general lacking in everything necessary to succeed here. Options?

1. Give up. Just quit this, stop plummeting further into debt, realize that this is all a farce and that I've no part in it.

2. Suffer through to the finish. You've been here for four and a half years, and you still have no idea what you're doing. Challenge? Challenge what? Convention? How do you challenge conventions when they are not afront your mind? The inability to describe our world makes communication impossible. Perhaps I shouldn't use words, and instead rely entirely upon graphics.

3. Figure out if there's a way to fix the problem, and finish in glory. There is no guarantee of this. Go try some things out. Can they hurt? Maybe. . .

4. Forget completely this and keep on as always.

Relationships, both architectural and emotional. Related? Need to read more.


Pops concert tonight. Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, JSBach.

"This is the ghost of normal everyday assumptions which declares that the ultimate purpose of life, which is to keep alive, is impossible, but that this is the ultimate purpose of life anyway, so that great minds struggle to cure diseases so that people may live longer, but only madmen ask why. One lives longer in order that he may live longer. There is no other purpose. That is what the ghost says." p100

Inductive (reasoning from particular experiences into general truths) and deductive logic (using general truths and pre-ascertained knowledge to discover particular instances).

"The real purpose of the scientific method is to make sure Nature hasn't misled you to into thinking you know something you don't actually know." p131



Tat tvam asi, "Thou are That"

Beginning Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

"What's new?" versus "What's Best?"

"When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get onto other things." p34