Frustration: What I feel for the majority of each day. Frustration that I lack the language, the concept, idea, thoughts outside of "I am frustrated." I assume it's a character flaw, a mental block or lacking that I have; it is beyond the limits of others' perception and understanding. How do I deal with it? Not enough time now. Never enough time.

Not enough words, not enough concentration or focus. Just a general lacking in everything necessary to succeed here. Options?

1. Give up. Just quit this, stop plummeting further into debt, realize that this is all a farce and that I've no part in it.

2. Suffer through to the finish. You've been here for four and a half years, and you still have no idea what you're doing. Challenge? Challenge what? Convention? How do you challenge conventions when they are not afront your mind? The inability to describe our world makes communication impossible. Perhaps I shouldn't use words, and instead rely entirely upon graphics.

3. Figure out if there's a way to fix the problem, and finish in glory. There is no guarantee of this. Go try some things out. Can they hurt? Maybe. . .

4. Forget completely this and keep on as always.

Relationships, both architectural and emotional. Related? Need to read more.


Pops concert tonight. Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, JSBach.